If time travel is ever invented, I have to go back to the 1400s and fellate an Aztec (no homo).

I went hiking again today. Still sore and achy, I selected from the book of circuit hikes the absolute closest one that was rated “Easy”. It is 3 miles and has an elevation change of a lousy 370 feet. I’ve eaten Twinkies that were tougher.

Of course, I’ve never taken a wrong turn and walked straight up a mountain while eating said Twinkie.  Yep. Got lost

“How the hell can you get lost on a Circuit hike? It’s just a loop!” You ask.

“Shut the hell up and mind your own business” I reply.  I got confused.

I was out there for hours, and miles and wild elevation changes.

I took a picture

Pretty.  But, I didn’t come out here to find pretty things. If I had, I could have just stayed at home and gazed at Trixie (swish!).

I’m not sure why I came out here, but, it wasn’t to get lost in the woods.

Panic attacks burn up a lot of energy, and soon, I found myself to be positively ravenous.

I searched my pack (which I carry for just such an emergency) and discovered that my wonderful wife had snuck a banana (touche’, my dear) and a travel pack of something called JIF to go! peanut butter. The italics make it look like it is on the move.

In my excitement and gratitude I made certain hasty promises about the inventor of peanut butter. I looked it up. Turns out, yeah, it was the Aztecs in the 15th century. (Tough break George Washington Carver).

Eventually I found the correct path and made my way back to the EM-50 Phantom Rambler and back into Luray.

I sought out the local Fitness Center and paid $5 for a day pass so I could shower.

The locker room had two shower stalls, a urinal, a couple of sinks, wall of lockers but, no toilet…I shit you not. Hehe…get it?

I’m not making that up though.

I miss being able to tag…Michelle Long