They say a man is defined by the choices he makes.

I rolled outta bed this morning, opened my breakfast cupboard and was faced with a surprising choice (pic related)

As you can see from the photo, I chose the Special K. This made me feel weirdly grown up. A little proud even. I don’t even know where the Special K came from. I certainly didn’t buy it.

As I sat there chewing, and feeling grown up and proud, I decided that today would be all about making decisions and choices.

For instance, after breakfast I decided that I was still hungry and I chose to eat the Apple Jacks as well. Man, I really felt empowered.

My plans for the day involved two very different attractions that were only one mile apart.  I wondered, if faced with the idea that I could only see one of them…which would I choose…which would a GROWN UP choose? I decided to choose one and only one.

I’m in rural Virginia.  I had the option of The Natural Bridge.  It is on Rand McNally’s list of “The Seven Natural Wonders of the World”…hell, it’s on everybody’s list.  It is said that when Thomas Jefferson first beheld it’s breathtaking beauty he wept. Openly.  Like a girl.

The other option is down the road a piece. On top of a slight rise in a field. There isn’t even a sign leading to it (pic related)see?

It is called Foamhenge. It is a life-sized replica of Stonehenge constructed out of Styrofoam.  The guy who constructed it is kind of a goofball (pic related)

As you might have guessed by now, I chose Foamhenge.  Nature is overrated.

When I told Trixie about my new decision-making thing she said we will call Foamhenge a “Mulligan” and that meant I could try again.

So, I went to the stupid Natural Bridge.

When I beheld the admission sign I, like Thomas Jefferson, wept. Openly. Like a girl. (pic related)

20 bucks! Foamhenge was free! This is a rock and it cost 20 bucks to see it. WTF?

I got stuck behind an Amish tour group (pic related)

Also, one of them lost his hat and was wearing a black stocking cap. It was like some kind of weird hipster/Amish/Coldplay dream.

And, then I found out you don’t get to go across it! 20 bucks and I just get to stare up at it? (Pic related)

That’s not a bridge – it’s an overpass. A bridge allows you to cross something.

Oh yeah, and here is the creek this sumbitch spans

Barely deep enough to get your socks damp.

Still missing the natural wonder that is…Michelle Long