The three most common entries on everyone’s Bucket List are:
- Skydive
- Visit the Pyramids
- See the Grand Canyon
(Note how I had the class to omit:
“Be with 2 chicks”
so that readers of all ages could enjoy the story. Sure, it’s disingenuous of me, but that’s just how I was raised).
I was Airborne in the army, so…SKYDIVING: CHECK
I’ve even been to Egypt – they have Big Macs made with chicken patties there – so…CHECK
Xmas Day, 2015 I tackled the Exalted Poobah of the National Parks – THE Grand Canyon.
I have been kind of bummed for the last three days. I lost my hat. I have several hats – a black porkpie that is getting old, and, my most recent additions: a kind of a salt and pepper tweed sort of hat that I use for cold weather and a purple porkpie that I reserve for fancy dress. I lost the purple one 🙁
I turned the EM-50 Phantom Rambler inside out searching for it. Nowhere to be found. Yet, there was a nagging feeling, like a hoarse whisper in my ear. Something about a hat and Xmas. I held out hope that it would inexplicably materialize today then I could post, with genuine emotion, “A Festivus MIRACLE!”
I was half right. Starting today, I can’t find my cold weather hat either. It has vanished. I’m doubly bummed.
I really needed that purple one today so I could pose for pics standing on the corner in Winslow, AZ. I’m just another face in the crowd without my purple porkpie.
I went anyway. (pics)
I suspect everyone
She got out and ran for it when I approached her
There should be shoe store on this road with the slogan, “Get your kicks…”
With great anticipation, I made for…duhn Duhn DUHN!…THE Grand Canyon!
I have spoken to many people who have been there and they ALL have assured me of two things:
- It is spectacular!
- It will exceed my expectations – There is no way to build it up too much.
I went. Standing in line to pay $30 to access one of nature’s greatest wonders is not unlike being stuck in traffic on the New Jersey Turnpike.
Don’t get me started – this stuff should be for everyone. Charging admission really chaps my ass!
And, I don’t even want to know what the lines are like in the summer. Untold throngs of you fuckers out there on Xmas Day. Shouldn’t you be at church or taking the kids to see their grandparents.
This Xmas actually reminded me of one several years back. Poor planning left me with no other option than to be at Columbia Mall on Xmas Eve. I vowed never to do that again. Anyway, it was easier to find a parking spot at the mall then, than it was today at…THE Grand Canyon. I couldn’t believe it.
But, I hung in there. Kept my eyes on the payoff. Yet another “Been there;done that” to allow me to be even more insufferable.
It was snowing (Hey! My first White Xmas!) I slipped on my Yak Trax to give my feet a grip – I was parked a long way from the rim. I bundled up, and off I went.
Folks, if you are standing, you might want to sit. These pics, taken with the camera on my celly, are an actual representation of what I saw. For a moment, allow me to be your eyes… (pics related)
I swear this isn’t shopped…except for the word balloons
And, a panorama. ClIck on it to appreciate its splendor…
Amazing the level of detail my phone can capture
Another angle…
It’s hard to believe a river carved all this
I am in Arizona, the desert, where there arent supposed to be clouds, but I would swear I am back on Clingman’s Dome in The Great Smoky Mountains. And, because it is Arizona, I have extremely limited data service.
My first thought? “Good ol’ Trixie will save the day!”
I sent her a text and asked her to Google images and describe them to me. She did.
Her exact words were…”OMG! It’s…it’s…INDESCRIBABLE!”
Man with that kind of imagery it was almost like being there myself. I got swept away.
Grand Canyon: CHECK