And, not because I am always overdressed for almost every occasion.

The EM-50 Phantom Rambler has a sore foot or something.

I am in Barstow, CA, on Historic Route 66 sitting inside a McDonald’s made to look like it was converted out of an old railroad car.  It is fake. There is also a Panda Express in here. Meh.

Yesterday, the Rambler started making a horrible, scraping, screeching, twisting metal, grinding type noise. Whenever this happens, the first thing I do is listen for the traces of a beat to see if Trixie left the radio on one of her stations. It was reflexive. I haven’t seen her in some time.

I inspected my ride. About a half an hour in I remembered I don’t know anything about vehicle maintenance.

I did not take “Care & Maintenance of Magical Creatures” or whatever class it is they teach you about this stuff.

So, I have taken it to a mechanic. He said the exact same thing to me that the mechanic said to the penguin in one of my favorite jokes:

So, this penguin is road tripping across the country in his EM-50 Phantom Igloo, when it starts to make a funny noise.

He pulls over into a repair shop on Historic Route 66, whereupon the wrench turner tells him it will be about an hour before he can get to it.

The penguin spots a McDonald’s disguised as a converted railroad car and decides to go for some ice cream – it is a known fact that penguins love ice cream, by the way.

(Editor’s note: for the purpose of this tale I ask that you suspend disbelief and just go along with this next bit, even though it is farfetched. )

When he gets to the McDonald’s he finds that the soft serve machine is up and running…yes, you read that correctly…up and running…Showing no impulse control whatsoever, the penguin orders half a dozen vanilla cones.

But, because of his stubby little flippers for arms, he ends up smearing as much on his face as he gets in his mouth. Don’t care. Totally worth it.

The hour is almost up so he makes his way back across the street. The mechanic sees him coming and says to the penguin the same thing my mechanic just said to me,

“It looks like you blew a seal.”

I did my penguin imitation and reached up to wipe my mouth as I replied, “Nah, that’s just a little ice cream.”

Depending  on the cost and severity, this could spell the end of Tommy’s Ramblings.  Yikes, yo.